My oldest daughter arrived this past Saturday from Florida after not seeing her for two years at my home. I have really enjoyed my visit with her. She is so different in personality than my youngest daughter. She is positive, upbeat and funny 24/7, while my youngest is the complete opposite. I don’t want you to think I favor one daughter over the other. I love both of my daughters equally. It is just a wonderful break to be around someone that is more positive in my family. I have got use to being corrected, put down and criticized about the simplest things for so long; it is refreshing to hear nice things and compliments.

One of the problems between the sisters is an age gap of 8 years. The youngest one is jealous of the older one when my oldest one spends any time with me. I listen to crude comments to me about it from her. For a 19 year old to be this jealous needs to stop. Does anyone have any suggestions?

My oldest daughter and I planned for months a road trip for a few days so we could get quality time together and did not tell my youngest daughter about it on purpose. The entire time we were on the trip, my youngest daughter kept text messaging my oldest daughter about where were we and when were we going to get back. I asked my oldest daughter to turn off her cell phone so we didn’t have to listen to the constant ringing of the text messages. My oldest daughter just chuckled about her sister’s constant inquiries about where were we. She would text her back, “driving down a country road” when we were on an interstate or turnpike another state away. It got so bad that my youngest daughter was calling at midnight when we were in the motel sleeping. My oldest daughter finally turned off her cell phone the final night at 10 PM. Next morning her sister was texting about why her sister did not text her back the night before. My oldest daughter was sitting on the motel bed cracking up laughing about her sister’s message. She informed me she was going to have a talk with her sister when she got back.

My youngest daughter did invite her sister to spend the night last night and today with her. She also invited us for dinner last night. Upon arriving, I could tell that my youngest daughter was not in a good mood towards me. I asked if I could help in the kitchen with dinner or anything. She would not reply. I asked if she was feeling well, still no response. She stayed quiet for another 5 minutes, then she let me have it about “all the time I spent with her sister”. I stated about how much time she had spent also with her sister the first two days including on Mother’s Day before she had to go to work. I sat and listened to her jealous fit. There was no reasoning with her. I gave up and decided to leave and go home. I apologized to my oldest daughter and my youngest daughter’s dad for leaving and quickly explained why and told them to enjoy their dinner and time with my youngest daughter and her husband. My son in law never even spoke or greeted me the entire time I was in their home.

I have made a decision about “tough love” with my youngest daughter and her husband. I will not tolerate being belittled or disrespected. I will not loan them anymore money. They don’t pay it back anyway. They both need to learn to make it on their own, since they are the ones to decide to get married so fast last August. They need to learn maturity and respect towards me when I have been the one to help them time and time again. I have been the one to help them move into their new home and clean their carpets. I have been the one that allowed them to live with me for three months rent free and do mounds of their laundry every week for free till I got my water and electric bill in and requested $20 a month from them. That was still way cheaper than it was actually costing me. I have done all of this for them in love for them and trying to help them get a good start in their marriage financially. I did not have this kind of privilege given to me when I got married. So now is the time they both grew up. The buck has stopped here. I will not go in their home till they invite me and apologize first for their actions towards me, else I will not go in there.

When my oldest daughter calls and ask me to come pick her up this evening or whenever she calls, I will go pick her up there in the driveway. I want to enjoy tomorrow, the last day with my oldest daughter before she flies back to Florida. She has not had a chance to see her “adopted” grandparents yet while she has been here either. The week has flown by so quickly. I wish it had been longer.

I am planning on flying down hopefully near the end of summer to see her, then go down to see my other friends in Florida. I need a break from the chaos of my family here. Stress is never good for my diabetes.