I offered my deepest apologizes for being absent to my readers. Over this past week, I went into a deep depression. I have been struggling about my daughters. After my oldest daughter returned from being around her sister, I could tell there was something different in her attitude towards me. She started defending her younger sister about certain issues. I sat there quietly while I listened to her opinion. Inside of me was starting to shake and I sat on my hands to keep from her seeing how upset I was or I would start crying. I didn’t want to spoil what precious time we had left together. I promised myself then to not say anymore about her younger sister to my older daughter.
My youngest daughter has always been a master manipulator. Now she did it to her older sister. This hurt me dearly. I went through keeping in the house and sleeping long hours. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of tears. Then I got up my backbone up and stopped feeling sorry for myself. I knew it would take a few weeks before I could shake this hurt. I am on my medications. I thought about checking myself in the hospital if I didn’t start turning around with my depression. I prayed to God to lift this depression and help me with the stress that is affecting my diabetes blood sugar readings.
I believe I am on the uphill now. Please keep me in your prayers and
thoughts.
My oldest daughter arrived this past Saturday from Florida after not seeing her for two years at my home. I have really enjoyed my visit with her. She is so different in personality than my youngest daughter. She is positive, upbeat and funny 24/7, while my youngest is the complete opposite. I don’t want you to think I favor one daughter over the other. I love both of my daughters equally. It is just a wonderful break to be around someone that is more positive in my family. I have got use to being corrected, put down and criticized about the simplest things for so long; it is refreshing to hear nice things and compliments.
One of the problems between the sisters is an age gap of 8 years. The youngest one is jealous of the older one when my oldest one spends any time with me. I listen to crude comments to me about it from her. For a 19 year old to be this jealous needs to stop. Does anyone have any suggestions?
My oldest daughter and I planned for months a road trip for a few days so we could get quality time together and did not tell my youngest daughter about it on purpose. The entire time we were on the trip, my youngest daughter kept text messaging my oldest daughter about where were we and when were we going to get back. I asked my oldest daughter to turn off her cell phone so we didn’t have to listen to the constant ringing of the text messages. My oldest daughter just chuckled about her sister’s constant inquiries about where were we. She would text her back, “driving down a country road” when we were on an interstate or turnpike another state away. It got so bad that my youngest daughter was calling at midnight when we were in the motel sleeping. My oldest daughter finally turned off her cell phone the final night at 10 PM. Next morning her sister was texting about why her sister did not text her back the night before. My oldest daughter was sitting on the motel bed cracking up laughing about her sister’s message. She informed me she was going to have a talk with her sister when she got back.
My youngest daughter did invite her sister to spend the night last night and today with her. She also invited us for dinner last night. Upon arriving, I could tell that my youngest daughter was not in a good mood towards me. I asked if I could help in the kitchen with dinner or anything. She would not reply. I asked if she was feeling well, still no response. She stayed quiet for another 5 minutes, then she let me have it about “all the time I spent with her sister”. I stated about how much time she had spent also with her sister the first two days including on Mother’s Day before she had to go to work. I sat and listened to her jealous fit. There was no reasoning with her. I gave up and decided to leave and go home. I apologized to my oldest daughter and my youngest daughter’s dad for leaving and quickly explained why and told them to enjoy their dinner and time with my youngest daughter and her husband. My son in law never even spoke or greeted me the entire time I was in their home.
I have made a decision about “tough love” with my youngest daughter and her husband. I will not tolerate being belittled or disrespected. I will not loan them anymore money. They don’t pay it back anyway. They both need to learn to make it on their own, since they are the ones to decide to get married so fast last August. They need to learn maturity and respect towards me when I have been the one to help them time and time again. I have been the one to help them move into their new home and clean their carpets. I have been the one that allowed them to live with me for three months rent free and do mounds of their laundry every week for free till I got my water and electric bill in and requested $20 a month from them. That was still way cheaper than it was actually costing me. I have done all of this for them in love for them and trying to help them get a good start in their marriage financially. I did not have this kind of privilege given to me when I got married. So now is the time they both grew up. The buck has stopped here. I will not go in their home till they invite me and apologize first for their actions towards me, else I will not go in there.
When my oldest daughter calls and ask me to come pick her up this evening or whenever she calls, I will go pick her up there in the driveway. I want to enjoy tomorrow, the last day with my oldest daughter before she flies back to Florida. She has not had a chance to see her “adopted” grandparents yet while she has been here either. The week has flown by so quickly. I wish it had been longer.
I am planning on flying down hopefully near the end of summer to see her, then go down to see my other friends in Florida. I need a break from the chaos of my family here. Stress is never good for my diabetes.
In 2009, 48 year old Susan Boyle of Britain’s Got Talent stunned the judges, Piers Morgan, Amanda Holden and Simon Cowell, and the audience. She truly blew me away with her performance of “I Dream a Dream from Les Miserables”. Video link below
Here are the Lyrics (Thanks to NewHotdox) –
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high,
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
Then I was young and unafraid
When dreams were made and used,
And wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung,
No wine untasted.
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hopes apart
As they turn your dreams to shame.
And still I dream he’ll come to me
And we will live our lives together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms
We cannot weather…
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I’m living
So different now from what it seems
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed.
Susan Boyle – Britain's Got Talent – on YouTube
I also enjoyed Jamie Pugh from Wales too that sang “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables.
Jamie Pugh – Britain's Got Talent – on YouTube
Thanks everyone for reading my blog. I truly hope and pray you enjoy these wonderful, inspiring singers that God gave them this wonderful gift of talent. I am proud of my Wales ancestry and these fine “gems” hidden Wales. Simon Cowell’s words that people need to believe in themselves are so true. Dream your dream!
In my youth, I didn’t appreciate opera till I got over 40 years of age. In 1994, I really became aware of the famous “3 Tenors”, Jose Carreras, Placido Domingo and Luciano Pavarotti when they sang “Nessun Dorma from Turandot”. Unfortunately in 2007, Luciano Pavarotti passed away on September 6th. We will all miss this great Italian opera singer.
Then when Andrea Bocelli sang with Celine Dion in a duet of “The Prayer” at the Grammys in 1999, I fell in love with his singing ability of Opera. Then I heard Andrea Bocelli sing the same song with Josh Groban. I have always loved the music of Celine Dion and Josh Groban. By Andrea adding them to his song, was an extra bonus to my listening ears.
A few years ago, I started watching Britain’s Got Talent show. When I heard Paul Potts for the first time singing “Nessun Dorma from Turandot”, I was completely memorized. He would make the “3 Tenors” so proud, especially Luciano Pavarotti.
See Part 2 of Believing In Your Dream
Saturday was pretty much a relaxing day. I did some work on the computer. I don’t think I will ever catch up on all the email accounts. I have my email filters adjusted so I don’t receive so much junk mail. Sometimes a few Nigerian emails do get through the Inbox. These spamming emails offer money to help some poor widow who has no children and is left supposedly lot of money in their bank accounts to get it back to the United States. I will never believe someone is going to give me millions of dollars and not know me. They just want your personal information and banking information to transfer the funds. I will not be a sucker to these scams.
I went to see Jane at the nursing home and spent time chatting with her so she would not be down in the dumps about missing the wedding that was taking place that Saturday. Different family members called to give Jane details of the day and the reception party the night before. She looked happy to have got the phone calls and to have my company for the part of the afternoon.
I had to hurry back home so the family member could take our vehicle to work. I had invited Betty as my guest to go as my substitute mom to the Mother Daughter Banquet. Her son brought her and dropped her off to the banquet. I had been calling around to see if one of our church ladies could take Betty home. I got a half dozen “I can’t do it” before the banquet. I asked several ladies at the banquet would they mind taking Betty home since Betty only lived the most 5 minutes away. I couldn’t get a commitment from any of the church ladies. I was truly disappointed that no one would help me in this situation. We had a guest speaker that was not from my church that came and knew Betty. She was more than glad to assist in taking Betty home. It is a shame when your own church ladies are not willing to be a good servant of Christ and assist another sister in Christ. I am still shaking my head even today about that. I have been praying about it since last night and asking for forgiveness of these ladies.
I had a hard time getting to sleep last night after helping a friend with her website after returning from the banquet. I was on the computer till 1 AM finishing my post as well. I had a lot on my mind when I lay down on my bed. First between two banquet/luncheons in two days, my diabetes had sky rocketed again. Both meals consisted of sugary sweet salads or mostly carbohydrates. The banquet was breaded chicken breast, mashed potatoes and gravy, bread stuffing, corn casserole and a large dinner roll with butter. For dessert, there was a 3 layer type cake with chocolate cake with a mocha filling on top and on top on that was chocolate icing. I tried not to eat the cake. Betty kept insisting that I eat the cake. People whom are not diabetics do not understand the consequences of too many carbohydrates, including sweets in one meal. I paid the price when I took my blood sugar when I returned home after the program in the main church. I was not feeling very well. My blood sugar was 267. I took a 6 unit shot of Novolog to decrease my blood sugar.
I thought I would get a post done before preparing for bed and taking my final blood sugar reading for the night and taking my Lantus shot and medications. My friend, Connie, was online. She wanted help with one of her websites, Shawnbidness. I have been working with her for a while in maintaining her website when she needs changes made. So we worked for 2 hours on her website making necessary changes. I still have a list to continue to work on for her. Connie is a wonderful friend who writes on her blogs about being an advocate of chronic and invisible illness. She recently posted on her My Chronic Life blog about helping Disabled Online Users Association (DOUA.org) raise money. Please stop by her blog and vote for DOUA. She and I are both mentors for this wonderful organization that helps disabled people has a “Hand Up, Not a Hand Out” through teaching students to sell online through eBay or through their own website or other selling venues. We both would appreciate a vote for DOUA. Thank you!
I will continue to work on controlling my blood sugar readings. I was so proud of myself for not having to take Novolog for 4 days, because I was keeping my blood sugar more manageable. I took my night shot of Lantus and took 42 units and my medications before going to bed. I finally fell asleep at 5 AM and had to get up at 8:30, but finally got out of bed at 9:10 AM. I skipped Sunday School, but made it to church. I am amazed at the energy I have right now and not getting a nap this afternoon. Going to Club Jesus with Betty and Garnet tonight. Praying the meal doesn’t have too many carbohydrates or else I will have to start packing a meal for myself.
Sherlock of Sherlock’s Stuff has awarded this blog, Sweet Resistance, with a Prémio Dardos Award, which apparently is Italian for “Prize Darts.” Thank you, Sherlock, for including my blog in your award list!
Here’s the purpose of the award:
The Prémio Dardos is given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing. These stamps were created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web.
These are the rules:
1.Accept the award by posting on your blog along with the name of the person that has granted the award and a link to his/her blog.
2.Pass the award to another 10 blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgment, remembering to contact each of them to let them know they’ve been selected for this award.
Here are the ten blogs I’ve sent the award to (and it was hard to choose):
Connie Roberts of Brain Foggles
Tina of Mummified Times Five
Mandy of Texas Medical Freak
Spice of Spice World
Jen of Everyday Randomness
Daisy and Harley of Daisy the Curly Cat
Confessions of a Fitness Diva – make sure you click the Breast Cancer site on her post. Great cause!
E J Cooksey of Losing It – Getting Fit
Connie of My Chronic Life
