This Christmas was so different than the past 29 years. This one was the first Christmas to wake up to not having children in the house being all excited at opening Christmas presents. It felt so strange not having one of my daughters at home. Now that they both are grown and living on their own or married. It is simply too quiet here in my house.

My recumbent bike was put together and rode it the every first day. Been trying to ride each day to get started on a daily routine of exercise. I feel so much better getting started on my diet and exercise routine.

I had a few disappointments on Christmas. I didn’t receive even a Christmas card from my two brothers and their families nor my oldest daughter. I have always sent cards and gifts to each of them, but I sent a card to both of my brothers this year. My oldest daughter I sent money and gifts. She always seems to have an excuse for the past three years for the very delayed or tardy Christmas card or presents. I have even received something near the end of January. I do get my annual late night call on Christmas night, not Christmas eve. She tells me about all the gifts she and her friends and extended family have exchanged with each other. As I listen to her tell me about all the festivities, I feel very sad inside and quietly start crying. I try hard to not let her hear me cry. She won’t understand the pain I feel in my heart at not being able to see her or hug her or see her face as she opens my presents. She doesn’t understand the pain I feel about her telling me about the gifts and cards she got from other people and also what she got them and I received nothing, not even a card.

She called me today to thank me for my gift. I guess I didn’t want to hear any more excuses as to why she can’t send me anything. I am not trying to be selfish, just tired of being forgotten. I feel like I am the last thing on her mind and not thought of earlier in the day due to her calling between 9:30 up to as late as 11:00 PM at night. I ALWAYS call my Mom on Christmas morning. I never want my Mom to ever feel like she is not loved or forgotten, like I do from my children.

Now that Christmas is over, my youngest daughter is back to her old normal self. She is back to being her usual controlling self. If things don’t go her way, she talks disrespectful to me. I tried doing something nice for her and in return she ended up calling me a not so nice name. Being near deaf and I wear earring aids. Unfortunately one of my earring aids quit working today and also the battery fell down inside the earring aid didn’t help. They are almost 10 years old. I misunderstood something my daughter said because she talks way too fast for me sometimes after asking her repeatedly to slow down her speech when she talks to me and she won’t. However, when someone is disabled and the other person is mean and calls them a retard, I totally dislike that. The mean person shows no respect or compassion for a disabled person. However when someone tried to do something nice for the mean person and it ends up back firing in their face, it makes it hard to trust people. That is what happened to me, I don’t trust a lot of people including family members because of their meanness. Name calling is cruel especially to someone that is disabled or handicap and should not be tolerated anymore.

For the year of 2009, I am making my New Year’s Resolution list:

Lose weight
Exercise more
Take better care of my health
Not tolerate mean people
Not be other people’s doormat
Be kinder to myself
Love myself more

Seems more people are looking for a home business so they can work from home. With the job market being unstable and not knowing whether a person will have employment the next day, I talked to several people I know about this topic. One lady has started an Avon business to supplement her income. She is doing very well. Another lady is doing an internet business of selling online from her website. A man I know runs his business from his home as a consultant. It seems more people are getting laid off from the factories in our area and want a way to supplement their income for their families.

I need to install a new kitchen faucets and sink. The one I have is an old Rockwell double stainless steel sink. However the area where you pour down the drain is corroding, however the rest of sink is in great shape. The faucet I would like is one that is arched high enough to fit a plastic bucket underneath. I would also like one that is has a water filtration to save money on buying bottled water and renting a machine. Hopefully I will get my wish in 2009 to get a new faucet and sink, new carpet and a new vehicle.

Now that Christmas is over and all the sweets are almost out of the house that a family member is eating, I feel I can get started on my diet again. I am really going to give it a try. I know I have to find ways to healthy cooking more. I already started using Canola non stick spray instead of using oil and frying. I am also trying to bake more of my meats too. I need to choice eating more vegetables and also a balance of fruits in my diet. I have a time resisting carbohydrates and simple sugar during the holiday times. My blood sugars have been going up and down too much during the holidays. Now is the time to get serious about my diabetes and losing this excess weight for my health sake.

My youngest daughter is having a continuous acne problem. She wants to try another acne treatment. I am concerned about her scarring her facial skin. She picks at her face after my advising her not to do so. I have also advised her about washing her hands before touching her face. She has a stubborn streak and doesn’t like to listen to Mom. When I was a teenager, my Mom talked to me about taking good care of my face. I did suffer with pimples on my upper arms more than my face. I guess I was lucky in that respect.

My son in law received a nice set of luggage. With the trips back and forth to Cleveland Clinic that he and my daughter have had to take, they definitely needed a nice set. With other pending trips for more testing and eventually have his surgery, the luggage will come in good use. I remember getting my first set when I was 16 years old from my parents; it was a hard case type luggage. I still have it in my basement along with the newer set that my mom bought me in the past 10 years that has wheels on the bottom. I really like being able to wheel my luggage instead of picking it up and lugging it.

Since I moved up North, I have never felt this cold. Having Raynaud’s Phenomenon makes it difficult on my hands, tip of my nose and ears. Not all people diagnosed with Raynaud’s have trouble with their nose and ears, it is usually rare. That is why it is so difficult for me in the winter time. The numbness and pain that I experience is just plain BAD! I don’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Yesterday, we went out of town to our annual Christmas family dinner. The wind was blowing so much and my youngest daughter was driving. I was concerned that she wouldn’t handle her car well with the high wind. After the dinner, she and her husband wanted to take her dad and I over to Oglebay Park. Her husband had never seen the Christmas lights there. So for the second time in a week, I got to see the lights. We got out to go in some gift shops and the wind near blew us over and the freezing wind on our faces was almost too much to bare. When we got home, we checked the TV for the temperature and the weatherman said it was -12 wind chill. I bundled up in flannel PJs and still could feel the wind coming in around the doors to the house. We stuffed folded newspapers around the edges of the doors where the wind was pushing in. This helped very quickly make the house warmer with the heater on.

I woke this morning to a temperature of 4 degrees outside. It is -26 degrees wind chill. My family member had to return to work after a week’s vacation and went out to crank his truck. He ran back in the house shaking from the cold. I made hot coffee for him right away. He said he had never felt it this cold in the 9 years since we moved up here.

The residents in our area talk about the blizzard of 1978 where they were unable to get out of their homes for 5 days. They were snowed in up over their doors. I am glad my house sits up high enough so my doors are not blocked in, in case of a blizzard. I do worry about my heat since it is run by electric instead of gas. If we lost our electricity, we would have no heat and would have to go some place else if we had no other choice. My next door neighbor told me she has an old kerosene heater for “just in case”. Wonder how many years it has been since she has lite it.

Think I am going back to bed and get under my nice warm blankets. Be glad when this Arctic Blast is over, the weatherman is calling for near 60s by this Saturday.

My oldest daughter loves to watch movies on her computer. I have been having a hard time figuring out what to get her for Christmas since she just moved. She is staying at a friend’s house for several months and has to store most of her belongings in a storage unit. She does have her computer with her in her bedroom. She has to have a video card she explained to me to watch movies or play the newest video games. Hers needs upgrading because it is not working as well as it use to be, it is dragging and stopping during watching a movie. I think this will make a great present for her for Christmas.

My friend, Garnet, asked me to go with her to the hospital when she had her day surgery to have her defibrillator replaced. We rode on a special bus for senior citizens to the out of town hospital. We arrived at 6:30 AM. We sat in the main entrance area awaiting the arrival of the staff that handled the registration at 7 AM. Then we were told that her doctor had asked for a special test to be run on her, an echocardiogram, while she was there. That was scheduled for 9 AM, then surgery at 11 AM. The echocardiogram went well for my friend. I went to get breakfast in their cafeteria. This is a heart hospital and I was surprised at the cold, greasy food that was being served there. YUCK!

After her echocardiogram, we were told to sit back in the main entrance area again. My friend, Garnet, was freezing, because of all the cold air that was coming in the main doors. We finally got called to go with a lady to go up to Garnet’s room up on the 7th floor around 10 AM. The air conditioning was on in the room. Garnet started complaining to the staff about this being in the dead of winter and they were trying to give her pneumonia. From then on, she complained about everything. When 11 AM, came and went and she did not go to surgery, she was upset. This continued on until a nurse came in and told her it was scheduled for 1 PM. Then when 1 PM came and went and no surgery, she was mad and wanted to take off her wires and IV tube and get dressed and go home. She had me upset too. I finally went and talked to the nurse and told her what Garnet was saying to me. The nurse came in and had a talk with Garnet to calm her down some. I had a talk with Garnet and told her I was there to be supportive of her but all the complaining was bringing me down. She finally settled down.

One of the problems I was experiencing personally, was the lack of sleep, stress from Garnet and my blood sugar was high. I forgot to bring my Novolog, fasting acting insulin, with me. I did take my blood glucose meter and took my reading. It was 427. The nurse was concerned about me too. She advised me to go ahead and take my Lantus shot, long acting insulin, which I take at night and take extra units. I did start feeling better about an hour after taking the shot.

I learned a valuable lesson about going with someone to a hospital as well as out of town. I am going to have a better plan of action with my diabetes and packing my own meals or snacks. Hospitals do not have the best cafeteria food that is healthy.

My friend had her surgery and the bus service had to make a special trip back to pick us up. The driver was so nice about making the extra 2 1/2 hour round trip for us. I left him a tip and said “Merry Christmas”.

Called this morning (Friday) and she is doing very well at home now. Glad my friend’s heart is back ticking the way it should.

We drove to Oglebay Park just outside of Wheeling, West Virginia yesterday to drive through the 6 miles of Winter Festival of Lights. Also to go into some of the gift shops. The Carriage House gift shop still is selling some of the Fenton retired glass pieces. I was disappointed that they quit carrying the Sterling line of Christmas decorations. I had bought on a previous trip to Oglebay a Santa’s sleigh and wanted to add pieces to the scenery. Now I am unable to.

We did have a relaxing time over all. We were not rushed and the traffic was not streaming through the golf course community. In the past, the traffic was bumper to bumper. No time to really enjoy the sight after driving all that distance to see it, so this year was extra special. We were able to get a DVD of the Oglebay Festival of Lights. It is so nice to be able to seat down in our living room and watch it and see more details up close.

My youngest daughter and her husband want to go after we all go on Sunday to our extended family’s annual Christmas dinner down in Barnesville. Then drive over to Wheeling. Not sure I want to go back again so soon even though there were very nice displays. Weekends are more crowded. Her husband has never been to the Festival of Lights since they started it in 1985.