Sorry I haven’t written lately. My Mom is under hospice care 5 days a week. She lives in a different state than I do. My oldest brother called me and told me if I wanted to see my Mom alive I needed to get down there to see her that she had been falling a lot. The sense of urgency in his voice left me no choice but to get packing quick and renting a car. My 20 year old van would not have made the trip. Due to my Mom having congestive heart failure and Parkinson’s Disease, I knew her heart was the worst of the two of the her health problems. My Mom is 86 years old and has outlived her mother and dad and sister and brother-in-law.

The trip went well riding in a 2008 Chrysler PT Cruiser that I rented from the new local Avis. I was so pleased with the car and the service I received. I was even given a discount when I told the President of the local office that I was a member of AAA and AARP. I do enjoy the benefits of being a member of those groups.

Getting to spend time with my Mom is a blessing though it was rough. Mom is a stubborn woman. Her way or no way. She is adamant about not being in a nursing home. My brothers and sister say she can’t have her nest of clutter to live in. I believe is she feels she will lose her sense of freedom or independence if she goes in a nursing home. As a family, we talked to her about assisted living facilities. No way! Mom is a constant worrier. Her hospice nurse informed us the added stress on her heart is adding additional damage and mini TIAs.

I saw my Mom have a bad episode one night. Watching my Mom not being able to speak to tell me what was happening to her and grabbing her chest moments later was very scary. Then her Parkinson’s tremors followed in her hands then her legs. I had to call my oldest brother because I was not sure what to do for her. He told me it was normal for her to experience this. I told her caregiver the next morning what my Mom had experienced and she called Nurse Alice who explained about Mom’s blood pressure bottoming out and Mom passing out or feeling faint to turn her oxygen tank on and use the nose tubes, then put a nitroglycerin patch on her if she was having chest pressure or pain. Over all I felt I kept myself calm through all of this event. It took approximately 1 hour and 40 minutes before Mom came out of the episode. My sister had called during the episode and I explained that Mom could not come to the phone right then. I needed to go and check on Mom. My sister called several relatives and got them all nervous and panicky. I started getting phone call early the next morning. I was quite upset with my sister and when she called the next morning I let her know I was upset and why did she not be patient for me to call her back as I had promised I would and not call relatives and upset them. I warned her about upsetting Mom anymore.

I did try to help my Mom have her last wishes of going over to her hometown she was born in. She wanted to put flowers on her Mom, Dad, sister and brother-in-law’s graves, so I took her and we put flowers on the graves. She wanted to go see some property that she and my dad had bought when I was a child. Unfortunately, due to the time of the year and high water, we could not access the road to get to it near the main lake. There were other things she wanted and I tried to accommodate her wishes.

One of the main things I learned during this trip was that my Mom needed to let go of things from the past, both materialistic and past hurts. For her being bitter and negative was very taxing on my energy; physically, mentally and spiritually, My Mom still has not stop being bitter about my dad. They divorced over 30 years ago and he has been dead for 17 years. It is my wish as well as several family members that she stop being bitter and negative and be happy and enjoy her time she has left. To enjoy seeing her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. I pray this for her.