Today, I am feeling disappointed in myself. I had set my original quit date to stop smoking as Sunday, January 27th. I woke saying to myself that today was THE day that I would be smoke free. I did wake earlier to get ready to work on some projects that I had planned to do on the computer. Even though I didn’t accomplish much, I didn’t feel any craving for a cigarette.

I made it with not smoking till later in the afternoon.  My youngest daughter and I had a difference of opinion. I started feeling stress and anxiety. Then the craving for a cigarette hit me. I was looking for the feeling of something to comfort me, and release that stress.

I only had 3 cigarettes left. I tried smoking 1 of the cigarettes in a few puff stages. However the craving would not leave me. So I light the rest of it up and smoked it. I did light another cigarette about an hour later. I took a few puffs off of it, sat it in the ashtray and watched it burn away. I knew as long as any are in the house of my brand, I will smoke them. I am disappointed in myself for not making it through THIS day without smoking. Really, really wanted today to be the day.

There is 1 cigarette left. What am I going to do with it? Not sure at this point. If I smoke it, it will be a final farewell with a goodbye letter, because I am NOT going to buy anymore. This last pack has lasted over a 4 day period. The time has come for me to face myself in the mirror and tell myself I CAN DO IT because I love myself and want to be healthy again!